SIX

Going into my first ultrasound for my last pregnancy was such a bittersweet feeling! I was so happy to be pregnant because we had been trying for the past three months. I remember vividly laying down on the chair and my husband sitting right next to me. I had no idea that in the next few minutes, I was going to receive life-changing news. The technician began to engage in conversation and asked us if this was going to be our first child. I immediately replied no and proceeded to tell her that we have two little girls and this will be our third baby. She continued to move the transducer around as we were talking and suddenly says “oh, so this will be your third and your fourth.” I quickly responded “nope, just our third”. I thought to myself maybe she did not hear me the first time. I wanted to make sure we were on the same page. She was chucking and when I looked up, I saw two tiny black circles which represented not just one but two babies! I literally froze and it felt as if the world around me had paused. Meanwhile, my husband was hysterically laughing out of excitement.

I laugh

because I no longer fear the future

Twins?? What were the odds?!? I’m about to have four kids under the age of four for approximately three months. Yo, who’s punking me? These were my initial thoughts once I was able to pick my jaw up from the floor. That is when everything sank in and it hit me. We’re not only going to be just parents of two girls but now of twin boys as well. I didn’t know how this was going to work, but knew that it would. 

My husband Juan and I got married in May 2014 and less than a year into our marriage, I became pregnant with our first child, Catalina. I would often worry as to how I would be able to balance being a wife, sister, friend, daughter, children’s director and this new role called “mom”. Throughout my first pregnancy, many questions and thoughts bombarded me but like anything else in life, you face it and figure it out. I was able to do that with God’s help as well as a ton of support received from people around me. 

When Catalina was ten months old, I found out that I was pregnant…again! This pregnancy was a total surprise. How can I love another human the way I love my first born? How do I split myself in two? Would Catalina feel like I’m giving her less love? It was a whirlwind of emotions that I was dealing with internally. The night before my second daughter Natalia was born, I remember holding Catalina all night. I prayed that she would understand that my love for her would not diminish. I also asked God for wisdom and understanding so that I would be able to love them both equally and unconditionally. 

The dynamic of a family of four is completely different than that of a family of three. It took a while to get into the rhythm of our new normal. My two girls are eighteen months apart and I’ll be honest, it doesn’t get easier. You just have to figure things out along the way. Kids take up a lot of your mental and emotional energy and by the time bedtime comes around, you are exhausted. This leaves your husband with leftovers which isn’t healthy for the marriage. The question becomes, how do you balance it all? I realized this very early on after Natalia was born and we took action in an effort to make the necessary changes. We did this to ensure that our relationship as husband and wife was always strong and thriving, regardless of how chaotic our lives were. We quickly implemented date nights once a month. For us, choosing the 24th of each month made sense because it’s our wedding day. Over the years, this has not only become a tradition but something that we look forward to and truly enjoy. We take turns each month planning out our dates and it allows us to get creative. We absolutely love that! This has been a total game changer and I would strongly encourage you to implement this in your marriage as well, especially if you have children. 

As of last year, I became a stay at home mom. This was a very difficult decision for me to make because I have always worked and had a thriving career. So the fact that I had to put a pause on that for now was challenging. As a stay at home mom, you have to make sure you don’t lose your identity as an individual. I could not let myself go physically, emotionally or mentally because this tends to be the norm in a household where kids are the priority. Not only did I find myself making time for my husband, but I also made it a point to make time for myself. I am blessed to have both sets of grandparents living nearby who are very eager to babysit at any given moment. I don’t take that for granted because I know many are not as fortunate. If you are blessed to have loved-ones to lend a hand, receive the help that is being offered. Even if you do not have family nearby, seek friends or trusted people where you can build a strong community around. As the saying says, “it takes a village to raise a child”. I am a firm believer that we are not meant to do life alone. God has placed people around us to help and uplift us when we most need it.  For me, I take a day out of the week where it’s just “me time”. I get my errands done, I meet up with a friend for lunch or I simply stay home and catch up on a tv series. Something as simple as that will recharge and energize you.

Late last year, my husband and I decided to try for our last baby. We have two beautiful girls and we honestly wanted to try for a boy but would’ve been just as happy with a third girl. We had many discussions and had mapped out how a family of five would look and work for us. It was perfect timing. Catalina will soon turn four and would be entering school. This would leave me with just Natalia and the new baby… piece of cake, I’ve done this before!

God laughed. 

As we prepare to become a family of six, I often find myself overwhelmed with the idea of what our new normal will be. I catch myself wondering, “how will this work?” Will I be able to grab the essentials from Walmart? How will I achieve the basic things such as nap time or bath time? Will my husband take the girls and I the boys or vice-versa? Our entire routine will be rocked and we will have to simply figure it out.. again; just like we did with the first two. God will continue to give us the wisdom and understanding to raise our kids in such an environment where they will each will be loved equally. 

I am excited for what the future holds. I laugh because I no longer fear the future. It will not hold me back and will not paralyze me. I will embrace this journey and enjoy the ride. It will be crazy at times and I’m sure frustration will set in. Tears will flow as it’ll be loud and messy most of the times but I would not trade that for the world. Six. We are a family of six. I want to encourage you “momma” who are reading this. YOU can do it too. Surround yourself with people who love and support you and are willing to give you a helping hand. Ask for help when you need it. Take time for your spouse. Take time for yourself. Pray and ask God for wisdom. If He’s blessed you with your family, your husband, and/or children its because He has gifted you with the grace to flourish in your marriage and raise those babies to become great men and women in our society. Momma, you are doing a great job and most importantly, you are your family’s biggest blessing.

She is clothed with strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future. ~ Proverbs 31:24

Wendy Zuniga

Guest Blogger

Instagram: @wendynzuniga